I have this friend…

You see, I have this friend and I don’t really know if she’d be your type. She’s pretty good looking I guess, not really a rocket on the stunner scale, but I don’t think that she’d look weird standing next to you. 

Not saying you’re an unattainable stud or anything.

She’s average, your run of the mill generic brunette. Medium height, little on the heavy side; but when I say heavy side, it’s in all the right places. 

Well, I guess if you like those places. You see sometimes I ha-… she has a problem with her hips being a little larger than she’d like, but I guess that’s like any other girl. Always one problem area.

She has her quirks, like any other person does. Awkward in public. 

I heard once she dove into a bush when you passed her house, actually got grass stains on her jeans. 

No, that wasn’t me… That was her. I don’t even know where you heard that rumour, I mean I’ve never seen you on my street. 

Not that I’d notice if you were on my street. It’s not like I stare out my window hoping you’ll pass by it or anything. 

No, I know you didn’t say that, but you were implying it. 

Well, anyway she’s liked you for awhile. You see she has this weird thing for tall, athletic, blondes. I really don’t understand it, but I suppose sometimes I see what she’s looking at. I guess I get why she likes you so much. 

Not saying that you’re a generic, athletic, blonde. No, I’m th-… She’s the generic one.

I don’t know why I keep saying I, it’s weird it keeps slipping out.

Maybe I just get how she feels. Always liking that one person that seems too unattainable, so distant, but always in front of your face.

I don’t mean literally right in front of your face, but at the same time I do mean that literally. 

I don’t really know what I mean right now. 

Anyways, you said you had a friend? A friend who was interested in me?